Listen to make you successful
Listening is one of the most underestimated skills in negotiation.
Basically, people think that it is only necessary to talk without listening, but in fact it is not the case. Successful negotiators often spend more time listening than speaking.
Six obstacles that prevent you from successfully listening. As a general rule, you should spend more than 50% of your time listening. If you speak 50% or more of the time, you talk too much and listen too little.
So why aren’t people good at listening?
Here are six types of difficulties they often encounter.
1. Defensive measures.
An important reason why people are unwilling to listen carefully during negotiations is purely psychological defense.
Generally speaking, people don’t want to get bad news; more people are often self-centered and instinctively shift bad news.
Maybe we don’t think that hearing is a better way than hearing, because after you hear it, you have to face it, but it is not.
Only when you hear or predict the danger, do you think about avoiding and dealing with it.
In fact, whenever you suspect bad information, you should go deeper.
2. Not confident (worrying).
Many people, out of tension and fear, pretend to be overly upside-down when they should have listened carefully.
So, restlessness can be a fatal blow to good listening-when the other party is talking, it causes your mind to look for answers like a competitive race, to observe and find anecdotes.
The movement of one’s mind is just as effective as the movement of the mouth.
At the same time in the conversation, if your heart can’t calm down, the personality will think that your silence means not listening to him intently.
If you can only specify an inappropriate answer, or worse ask in amazement “Ah?
“, That person will immediately re-evaluate your IQ.
Therefore, uneasiness will pay you a heavy price. When you should have listened quietly, because of your unhappiness, you lost control of your mouth and attention. As a result, you lost your job, business, contract and appointment.
3. Physical and mental fatigue.
It’s true that when you’re tired and stressed, listening becomes difficult.
At this point you can only tell the other person frankly, “Please slow down, I have a hellish day.
“Good negotiators may slow down so that you can listen more actively.
Maybe you’re used to talking and thinking before you listen, then you need to change it just like smoking.
It is very difficult to get rid of this habit, because you need to do it yourself.
If you are more hierarchical and powerful, the more people will tell you that they think you are not good at listening, even if they notice, they will not speak frankly.
Prejudice is a concept, and it is often expected that he will become like this because of what he did.
Therefore, prejudice is just an estimate of your own personal expectations. It can hinder your thinking and prevent you from receiving the right information.
6. Don’t recognize the value of others.
Still others don’t listen because they don’t think others can say what they expect.
In fact, each individual will make his own contribution to the negotiation, but sometimes it takes you to dig, and everyone has specialized knowledge.
In the negotiation, the other party has a lot of useful information, but if you think that what those people say is useless in a conventional way of thinking, it is of course difficult to ask you to listen.
Tips for becoming a good listener1.
To be a good listener, you have to rule out the distractions: all noise and even confusion can add to your hearing.
Here are some suggestions: √ When you talk to others, don’t just turn down the TV volume, you should turn it off.
√ If you are still thinking about something, write it down before you have a conversation and remind yourself with a note, you don’t have to worry about forgetting that problem, you will concentrate on the personality below. √ Clean up your table-or anything between your personality and you-in order to focus your attention on what the other person is saying.
√ Don’t answer the phone when you talk to someone, interrupt your personality to answer a call, it’s not important to aim at the other person and yourself. It also makes what you say seem less important.
If you have a task at hand that needs to be done urgently, you can’t prevent telling the other party how many minutes later you will concentrate on listening to his personality.
2. Count to three.
Just count to three before you speak, and before you react, this moment can make you pay attention and understand the last words that others say.
Or don’t count, but a pause is always necessary-you get the message and give the other party time to correct his comments or questions.
Even if your presentation may be in consultation with a client, spouse, or boss, pausing three beats can help you better understand and take note of what another person is saying.
3. Stay awake.
If you really pay attention to certain parts of the other person, then you should change your posture, sit up or stand up, and make the blood flow in the direction that makes you awake properly. These can effectively improve your depression.mood.
4. Take notes.
Taking notes is great for listening. Whether you will refer to these records again or not, it seems that taking notes at the time the act itself can promote the entire listening process.
Because in this process, your brain will be more active, your eyes, and your hands will be busy for each other’s personality content.
It is almost impossible to fully comprehend a complete conversation with only one pair of ears.
After the meeting, you can also consider writing your record as a situation report and verify with the other party. A confirmed memo is an excellent way to ensure that you listen well, and it is a useful experience for both parties.
If the other party thinks you remember incorrectly and deny your record, you will still be the winner at this time-this reaction shows that you and the other party have different opinions on the procedure, and your correction is achieved.
Thank you immediately for pointing out that you are taking notes to confirm that you are listening well and to discuss with them again for accuracy.
Therefore, in the end you will gain nothing.